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HAPPY MARRIAGE




We all want pleasure and contentment in life. This can be achieved through marriage. It is not good to be alone. We need a shoulder to lean on.

Both partners should leave their parents who brought them up, and start a new family. Two incomplete human beings become one single complete entity in marriage.

Characteristics of a Happy Marriage

Love - Romance is a fire that cannot be quenched.

Positivity - If there is criticizing, demanding, name-calling and holding grudges the relationship will suffer. Being affectionate, listening to each other, taking joy in each other's achievements and being playful strengthens the relationship.

Empathy - People are more likely to feel good about their marriage if their partner is empathetic.

Commitment - When two people are dedicated they will sacrifice their own preferences for the good of the relationship.

Acceptance - Every couple have differences of opinion, experience personality clashes, and argue. When each partner feels like the other accepts them for who they are without forcing a change, they feel more secure and confident of the relationship.

Respect - It is very important for one to respect and avoid dominating the other.

Confidence - A secure relationship is not worried about the future.



ADVANTAGES OF MARRIAGE

People can be married for the life to be more productive and enjoyable so that it can be lifelong, satisfying and enriching. Rightly done, being married will mean a life filled with hope, excitement and happiness shared with a partner.

Physical - People who are married have lower rates of mortality, better health habits, higher levels of self-disclosure, lower hospital costs, and enjoy a social support network that boosts the immune system and improves physical health and survival.

Emotional - Compared to single, divorced or widowed men, the married experience less depression, anxiety, and other types of psychological distress. Happiness clearly increases with marriage and decreases with divorce. Divorce is especially damaging to women's mental health, with women reporting more depression and hostility, and less self-esteem, personal growth, self-acceptance and environmental mastery than divorcing men.

Sexual - The married tend to have more sex because it costs them less in time and money. They find it more satisfying because their sex partner is more available, less distracted, more eager and more able to please. Marriage symbolizes a union that is based on sexual fidelity, stronger commitment and emotional intimacy.



Financial - Marriage is not a consumption item or a financial burden but a productive institution as important as education in boosting a man's earnings. Married men make, by some estimates, as much as 40 percent more money than comparable single guys, even after controlling for education and job history. The longer a man stays married, the higher the marriage premium he receives.

Economical - Marriage plays a powerful role in the attainment of wealth. It has clear economic benefits for people with access to steady jobs and stable homes. People who are married have more money, they tend to specialize, exchange, and share roles and functions in ways that generate higher earnings, encourage savings, help their partner to restrain from impulse spending, and generally leave the family financially better off. Clearly, married couples benefit from economies of scale, where two people live more cheaply than one.

Social - Being in a two-parent family provides them with a better standard of living and gives them a greater sense of supervision and protection. It also provides role models who show them how to relate effectively to others. Children from intact families tend to perform better in school, are more likely to stay out of trouble, are less likely to be abused in their own home, and are less likely to get pregnant out of wedlock.

HINDRANCE TO SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Committing adultery and being interested in someone other than your spouse is the biggest hurdle toward a successful married life. It is better to gouge out your eye than to look at another woman lustfully (Matthew 5:29).



TIPS TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE

Even on the brink of divorce there are ways to keep your marriage together. When the marriage is in trouble, you should try to find out the solutions of how to save a marriage and to stop the divorce. There will be always some hopes and ways to solve the problems in your marriage.

Following are some powerful ways to guard your home against divorce and ensure your relationship remains healthy and vibrant across the years.

Nurture the spiritual side of marriage - Make it a habit to attend church together, study the Bible together, and pray earnestly and frequently with and for each other. It also means applying to your relationship the many Bible passages that call us to be kind, compassionate, gentle, loving people.



Give your relationship top priority - Even marriages will require attention and maintenance. Avoid taking the relationship for granted. Don't permit external activities like career demands, parenting responsibilities, extended family pressures and volunteer activities to infringe on the priority of your marriage. Couples must find the right balance between maintaining their relationship and all other activities.

No to ego - It is good to give up ego and should take an initiative to resolve the problems in your married life.

Good understanding - You should be able to listen to your partner and understand him/her, try to keep calm and talk through the problem. When your partner is talking with you, you should ask the related questions and clarify all doubts.

Self-assessment - It is a very important step to save your marriage. Try to find out your mistakes and develop an improvement in your behavior. Avoid doing those things that can hurt your partner.

Good communication - It is a very important factor for developing the healthy relationships. You should share all problems and feelings with your partner.

Trust - The most important thing is that you should fully trust your partner.

Positivity - Whenever there are some problems or bitterness, remember the happy moments that you had spent together and try to reignite these moments. Faith, hope and love form a powerful trinity for sustaining and transforming relationships.

Self control - When there are some problems, don't get disturbed or panic, just stay calm. Whenever you lose your temper during the arguments, you generally tend to say and do the things that you actually didn't mean.

Be content - Do not compare the beauty, intelligence, carrier, qualification and family background with others and look down on your partner, instead whole-heartedly be satisfied. If you expect perfection, you're setting yourself up for a life of discontent.

Forgiveness - You become trapped in an emotional complex of such pain and agony that negative energy begins to dominate your entire life. Your resentment can literally become as pervasive as to affect every other feeling out of your heart. Bitterness and anger are such powerful forces that once they enter your heart, they change everything about you. The only way is to escape through forgiveness which is essential for healing the hurts within a relationship.

Ignore the irritations - Sometimes people say unkind or thoughtless things. When they do, it is best to be a little hard of hearing to tune out and not snap back in anger or impatience. So choose your response and your words carefully in order for your marriage to grow and thrive.

Never go to bed angry - Whatever may be the problem try to make peace with each other with a hug and a kiss. You will get good sleep and the next day you won't bring up the old facts to start up with the arguments because it would seem to be unimportant.



Planning - One of the best ways to save a marriage is to create long-term plans with your partner. Some future plans that are made together may help to increase the intimacy. It will assure that your partner is always there for you.

Outing - Make some plans to spend the vacations at good picnic spot.

Personality and hygiene - Try to be always presentable that your partner likes and adopt hygienic habits.

CONCLUSION

How to save a Marriage should not be a problematic issue at all. If marriage makes for happier, healthier and more financially secure people with a shared sense of meaning and purpose in life, why wouldn't we want to uphold it, encourage one another to enjoy its benefits, and tell each other that it's worth fighting to preserve a marriage, even when it gets a little shaky and the going is tough?



References
http://marriage.about.com/library/bltip1026.htm
http://www.signsofthetimes.org.au/archives/2002/december/article5.shtm
http://www.waysinlife.com/9/post/2010/06/there-are-nine9-ways-to-preserve-your-marriage.html

© Malar Harris